Brother's Grief
by The Outlaw Witch
Summary: Dean is still getting over his father's death. Sam is trying to help, but doesn't have the words for his brother's pain. The events occur after Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things and before Crossroad Blues. OSO! Please Read and Review!


Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of its characters. I leave that to Eric Kripke.

Sam sat on the bed that was next to his brother's bed. He looked over and saw that Dean was still sleeping soundly. He couldn't think of a time since their father's death when his brother slept that well.

He doesn't know that I know how much our father's death weighs on him, Sam thought. He knew all to well, and he also knows his father. Sam knew in his heart that their father didn't want to bury his child. Like that old saying goes "no parent should have to bury a child."

Sam has had trouble trying to convince his brother that it wasn't his fault that their dad was dead and that he didn't think it either. He's said so in so many different words that he was starting to repeat himself, and that was getting annoying. He doesn't know what will work anymore.

"I just have to keep trying," Sam muttered to himself, "until he gets it into his hard head that Dad's death wasn't his fault."

Sam knew that the only thing they had was speculation on how their father died and nothing else. That weighed on Dean too.

It was almost the same for him. He blames himself for his mother's death. Sure he was only six-month-old baby, but he couldn't quite shake the feeling that somehow he being there caused his mother's death.

Sam mostly has gotten over it because of what happened last year when he saw her in the house they lived in. Then again he always wondered what would happen if his mother were still alive.

Sam shook his head as if to close off the thought. He knew his parents loved him just as he knows that Dean loves him.

Once again, he looked over at his brother. Sam hoped that his dreams were undisturbed, but then again that was a contradiction in terms with the two of them. They hunted the disturbed and killed it at every chance they got. So, Sam mused, Dean's dreams would consist of catching the demons and other supernatural beings.

Dean woke up, and saw that Sam was watching him. "Sammy, I can't sleep with your mind racing," Dean said.

Sam winced.

Dean sighed. "Sammy, I'm fine," he said. "I'm dealing with Dad's death, and the guilt of it just like you did with mom."

"I never said that I felt guilt of mom's death," Sam replied.

Dean shook his head as he lied on his back. "You never did," Dean agreed. "You're not now, but up until a year ago, you were feeling guilty. I just never saw how much until we went back to our childhood home."

"I'm glad I got to see her," Sam said. "I may not remember her, but I remember her scent and that was it to convince me that was her."

"It was good seeing Mom one last time," Dean agreed. "Just as I'm glad Dad made sure I was going to make a full recovery before he died."

Sam looked over at his brother. That was what was bothering Dean. "Are you sure?" Sam said. "It just speculating right now, wondering if that's what Dad did."

Dean glanced at his brother. "Sammy, I know that parents should never bury a child, but it always should be meant that a child should always bury a parent," Dean replied.

"It doesn't always happen that way," Sam replied. "I think Dad would've wanted it this way, Dean."

Dean shook his head. "But that doesn't mean I don't have to like it," Dean argued.

Sam arched an eye. "I think that's a given," Sam replied. "I don't know whether I had a choice if I could pick you or Dad who would survive."

"That means so much to me that you could pick between me and Dad," Dean said sarcastically.

Sam gave Dean a hard look. "Dad had that choice, and he did it on his own free will, Dean," Sam said. "Dad made the choice, and this is what he wanted."

"I wonder sometimes if I could live with that," Dean said without making eye contact with Sam.

"You have to live with that, Dean," Sam said. "Dad would've wanted you to, and not to feel guilty over his decision."

Dean lowered his head knowing that his brother was right. "Dad would've wanted us to carry on his legacy, Sammy," Dean said. "I know that."

"Good," Sam said. "Let's go get something to eat and find something supernatural and kick its ass."

"Right behind you, Sammy," Dean said.


End file.
